School for Scumbags – Danny King
Habitual teenage delinquent Wayne Banstead is expelled from yet another school for sticking up the tuck shop and finds himself hauled off to Gafin School for Misdirected Boys: a ‘special school’ for ‘special children’. It plays host to the worst of the worst, the cream of teenage offending – thieves, bullies, arsonists, and flashers. The teachers should have their work cut out, but things aren’t quite what they seem at Gafin School. Far from rehabilitating the boys, the teachers seem intent on instructing them in how to get away with things. The pros, the cons, and the downfalls are all set out like an algebra equation. Even the school motto is a bit dodgy: Heliarnos Eto Umminass, or Help Yourselves Boys.
With careful tutoring, Wayne Banstead and his classmates are about to take a step up into the big leagues. But in the big leagues, the big boys play for keeps. With scores of dead arms, a playground’s worth of ‘F’ words and a slam-bam robbery at its heart, this tale is definitely not for kids.